I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
