I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
