dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm always down for nudity.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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