i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
