No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
