Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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