Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize