Kiss
Puke
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
