He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
