I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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