that's an acceptable place to lick
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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