remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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