He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
