I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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