she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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