So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
