i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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