Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
