with your own penis?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize