Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
