The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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