Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love having hate sex.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
