i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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