I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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