I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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