South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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