I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
