We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just had sex on a roof
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
