I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
