I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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