you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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