Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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