Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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