I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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