Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
