theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
