dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
