that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
