We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You left your phone here
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