You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
