I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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