does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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