did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
