i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
