Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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