what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
