I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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