This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do herpes really smell.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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