that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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