Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
