You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
