Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
