i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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