Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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