I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
