I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
