I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
