oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize