Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and she was petting her beer can
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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