this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
