I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
