It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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